steven wright

• "all those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand."
  
  (bkz: kelimelerin yetersiz kalmasi)
• steven wright amerika'nin en gözde, en güzide komedyenlerinden biri olmaktadir. donuk bir ifade, bezgin bir tavirla yaptigi esprileri pek hosa gider. birçok filmde, dizide oynamis, albümler çikarmistir. ben esprilerinden bir örneklem grubu vermek istiyorum bu çerçevede, daha fazlasiyla ilgilenenler için internette sayisiz kaynak var.
  * you cannot have everything. i mean, where would you put it?
  * support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.
  * everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.
  * why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff?
  * the sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.
  * the other day i heard that sponges grow in the ocean. can you imagine how deep the water would be if they didn't?
  * four years ago... no, it was yesterday.
  * today i... no, that wasn't me.
  * i have a hobby...i have the world's largest collection of sea shells. i keep it scattered on beaches all over the world. maybe you've seen some of it...
  * a friend of mine once sent me a postcard with a picture of the entire earth taken from space. on the back it said, "wish you were here.
  * my friend has a baby. i'm recording all the noises he makes so later i can ask him what he meant.
  (set'e..)
• kendisinin kuş kafeslerinin tabanına genellikle gazete kağıdı serilmesine gönderdiği esprisi şöyledir; "evde beslediğiniz kuşunuz sizi gazete okurken gördüğünde, neden öylece oturup desenli bir halıya baktığınızı düşünmüş müdür acaba?"
• "içki içmeyen veya uyuşturucu kullanmayan insanlara üzülüyorum. günün birinde hastanede ölüm döşeğine düşecekler ve nedenini hiç bilmeyecekler" demiştir.
• gorduk ki bezginligi hakli cikartacak quote'lara da sahipmis:
  
  - ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
  - hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now.
  
  eh bir de bunlari sectim tabi, bir bukle sunuyorum yine:
  
  - half the people you know are below average.
  - 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
  - 42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
  - all those who believe in psycho kinesis, raise my hand.
  - the early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
  - i almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
  - ok, so what's the speed of dark?
  - how do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?
  - if everything seems to be going well you have obviously overlooked something.
  - when everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
  - if barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
  - eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
  - what happens if you get scared half to death twice?
  - my mechanic told me, "i couldn't repair your brakes, so i made your horn louder."
  - why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
  - experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
  - the hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.
  - the problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
  - the sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.
  - the colder the x-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it.
• "my theory of evolution is that darwin was adopted"
• sunucu: hiç psikoloğa gittin mi?
  sw: dokuz yaşındayken gitmiştim. çünkü onuncu yaşıma basmama bir iki hafta kalmıştı ve çoğu insanın iki haneli yaşlarda öldüğünü öğrenmiştim.
• "black holes are where god divided by zero"
  diyerek salak bir gülümsemeyle oturup kalmamı sağlamış insan.
• esprileri insanı hakikaten yarım yarım yarıyor. bir röportajında "en çok george carlin ve woody allen’dan etkilendim" demiş, kendisine duyulan sempatiyi bir kat daha artıracak bir beyanat.
• http://www.notso.com/wright.htm