windows 95 source code revealed

• piyasaya sürülmüş olan ve bir şekilde windows'un source code'unu açıkladığını iddia eden makaledir. içeriği şu şekilde:
  
  subject: *** top secret microsoft code ***
  project: version - windows 95
  
  microsoft marketing strategy (market.exe):
  
  #include <nonsense.h>
  #include <lies.h>
  #include <spyware.h> /* microsoft network connectivity library */
  #include <process.h> /* for the court of law */
  
  #define say(x) lie(x)
  #define computeruser all_want_to_buy_our_bugware
  #define next_year soon
  #define the_product_is_ready_to_ship another_beta_version
  
  void main()
  {
  if (latest_window_version>one_month_old)
  {
  if (there_are_still_bugs)
  market(bugfix);
  if (sales_drop_below_certain_point)
  raise(rumours_about_a_new_bugless_version);
  }
  while(everyone_chats_about_new_version)
  {
  make_false_promise(it_will_be_multitasking); /* standard call, in
  lie.h */
  if (rumours_grow_wilder)
  make_false_promise(it_will_be_plug_n_play);
  if (rumours_grow_even_wilder)
  {
  market_time=ripe;
  say("it will be ready in one month);
  order(programmers, stop_fixing_bugs_in_old_version);
  order(programmers, start_brainstorm_about_new_version);
  order(marketingstaff, permission_to_spread_nonsense);
  vapourware=true;
  break;
  }
  }
  switch (nasty_questions_of_the_worldpress)
  {
  case when_will_it_be_ready:
  say("it will be ready in", today+30_days," we're just testing");
  break;
  case will_this_plug_and_play_thing_work:
  say("yes it will work");
  ask(programmers, why_does_it_not_work);
  pretend(there_is_no_problem);
  break;
  case what_are_minimal_hardware_requirements:
  say("it will run on a 8086 with lightning speed due to"
  " the 32 bits architecture");
  inform(intel, "pentium sales will rise skyhigh");
  inform(samsung, "start a new memorychip plant"
  "'cos all those customers will need at least 32 megs");
  inform(quantum, "thanks to our fatware your sales will triple");
  get_big_bonus(intel, samsung, quantum);
  break;
  case does_microsoft_get_too_much_influence:
  say("oh no, we are just here to make a better world for
  everyone");
  register(journalist, big_bill_book);
  when(time_is_ripe)
  {
  arrest(journalist);
  brainwash(journalist);
  when(journalist_says_windows95_is_bugfree)
  {
  order(journalist, "write a nice objective article");
  release (journalist);
  }
  }
  break;
  }
  while (vapourware)
  {
  introduction_date++; /* delay */
  if (no_one_believes_anymore_there_will_be_a_release)
  break;
  say("it will be ready in",today+one_month);
  }
  release(beta_version)
  while (everyone_is_dumb_enough_to_buy_our_bugware)
  {
  bills_bank_account += 150*megabucks;
  release(new_and_even_better_beta_version);
  introduce(more_memory_requirements);
  if (customers_report_installation_problems)
  {
  say("that is a hardware problem, not a software problem");
  if (smart_customer_says_but_you_promised_plug_and_play)
  {
  ignore(customer);
  order(microsoft_intelligence_agency, "keep an eye on this
  bastard");
  }
  }
  if ( bills_bank_account>skyhigh && marriage>two_years )
  {
  divorce(woman_that_was_beatifull_when_i_married_her);
  wave(dollars, at_lusty_chicks);
  marry(young_blond_virgin_with_big_boobies);
  devirginize(young_blond_virgin_with_big_boobies);
  if (boobies_start_to_hang)
  
  dump(young_blond_virgin_with_big_boobies);
  }
  if (there_is_another_company)
  {
  steal(their_ideas);
  accuse(compagny, stealing_our_ideas);
  hire(a_lot_of_lawyers); /* in process.h */
  wait(until_other_company_cannot_afford_another_lawsuit);
  buy_out(other_company);
  }
  }
  /* now everyone realizes that we sell bugware and they are all angry at
  us */
  order(plastic_surgeon, make_bill_look_like_poor_bastard);
  buy(nice_little_island); hire(harem);
  laugh_at(everyone,
  for_having_the_patience_year_after_year_for_another_unfinished_version);
  }
  
  void bugfix(void)
  {
  charge (a_lot_of_money)
  if (customer_says_he_does_not_want_to_pay_for_bugfix)
  say("it is not a bugfix but a new version");
  if (still_complaints)
  {
  ignore(customer);
  register(customer, big_bill_book);
  /* we'll get him when everyone uses billware!!*/
  }
  }