• erkek-kadın ilişkileri hakkında faydalı bilgiler içeren bir web sitesi, aynı zamanda kitap serisi. link

    yıllar sonra gelen edit: alfa beta sigma güç para vs diyen kadın düşmanı sikimsonik sitelerden biri
  • böyle bir kitap var. sert bilgiler içeriyor. insan ilişkilerinin dinamikleri, insanlar niye böyle davranır falan bu sorulara yanıt vermeye çalışmış. dikkate değer.
  • rollo tomassi kitabı. epub'u libgen'de var. bazı alıntıları ekliyorum.

    can men really not tell when a woman doesn’t love them? no, they can’t. why? because men want to believe that they can be happy, and sexually satisfied, and appreciated, and loved, and respected by a woman for who he is. ıt is men who are the real romantics, not women (...)

    the real test for a man is how he lives with himself, alone. precious few men ever truly allow themselves to be alone and learn real, singular independence and self-reliance. the vast majority of guys (...) particularly in western culture, tend to transition from mother to wife with little or no intermission between.

    no person both frightens and disgusts me more than one who understands truth, but willfully opts for denial.

    you will only get what you’ve gotten if you keep doing what you have done.

    when the lines of communication are broken between you and your wife or girlfriend, you aren’t going to get a message that the lines of communication are broken. that’s what the lines of communication being broken means. when she checks out of the relationship, she doesn’t tell you because she’s checked out of the relationship. that’s what being checked out of the relationship means.

    ıt’s not an unfamiliar story to me to hear of how a guy opted for a certain university or a career path because he’d convinced himself that it would sustain a relationship that he was fearful of loosing or he felt was his “responsibility as a man” to be ‘supportive’ of her ambitions at the sacrifice of his own. the conclusion of this scenario, more often than not, ends with a bitter man, mad at himself with the long term results of his choices after the woman he’d striven so long to accommodate leaves him for another man who held fast to his own identity and ambition – which is exactly what made him attractive to her.

    gentlemen, as ı’m fond of saying, women will fuck. they may not fuck you, they may not fuck me, but they will fuck someone. the girl who bangs the hot guy at the foam party in cancun on spring break within 5 minutes of meeting him is the same girl who wants you to believe that they’ll only fuck one guy at a time and then after commitment.

    you cannot negotiate genuine desire.

    accept hypergamy as a woman’s operative state at all times. the most common words hear newly divorced men utter is some version of “ı never saw this coming in my wildest imagination, we were married for 20 years, we have 4 kids, how could she be over me so quickly?” a lack of understanding the basics of hypergamy is exactly why men are blindsided. (...) hypergamy doesn’t care that you moved across 4 states to accommodate your long distance relationship. hypergamy doesn’t care how ‘supportive’ you’ve always been of her decisions or if you identify as a ‘male feminist’. (...) hypergamy doesn’t care about how you funded her going back to college to find a more rewarding career. hypergamy doesn’t care how great a guy you are for adopting the children she had with other men. hypergamy doesn’t care about your divine and forgiving nature in excusing her “youthful indiscretions. (...) hypergamy doesn’t care about the coffee in bed you bring her or how great a cook you are. (...) hypergamy doesn’t care about how well you do your part of the household chores. (...) hypergamy doesn’t care if you think you’re a “good” guy or about how convincing your argument is for your sense of honor. hypergamy doesn’t care whether the children are biologically yours or not. hypergamy doesn’t care if “she was drunk, he was cute, and one thing led to another,..” hypergamy doesn’t care how sweet, funny or intellectual you are. hypergamy doesn’t care if you “never saw it coming.”

    men seek their wives’ “permission” to attempt even the most mundane activities they’d do without an afterthought while single. ı have married friends tell me how ‘fortunate’ they are to be married to such an understanding wife that she’d “allow” him to watch hockey on their guest bedroom tv, … occasionally.

    the guy who does in fact man up is a chauvinist, misogynist, patriarch, but he still needs to man up when it’s convenient to meet the needs of a female imperative.

    we get frustrated because women communicate differently than we do. women communicate covertly, men communicate overtly. men convey information, women convey feeling.

    this is the single greatest failing of average frustrated chumps: they vomit out everything about themselves, divulging the full truth of themselves to women in the mistaken belief that women desire that truth as a basis for qualifying for their intimacy or enduring commitment. learn this now: women never want full disclosure. nothing is more self-satisfying for a woman than to think she’s figured a man out based solely on her mythical feminine intuition (i.e. imagination). when you blurt out your ‘feelings’ or overtly make known your optionless status, regardless of the context or the nobility of your intent, all you do is deny her this satisfaction. and like an easily distracted child she discards you for another, more entertaining, toy that holds some kind of mystery or puzzle for her figure out.

    (...) automatic presumption that anything remotely critical a man would say about women, or the feminine, is by default, equated with misogyny. all a man need do is open his mouth, in the most objective way he can muster, about anything critical of the feminine and he’s instantly suspect of sour grapes. he must’ve been burned, or is bitter and on the verge of desperation just for even a passing mention of some critical observation of women’s incongruent intents and behaviors. (...) "you’re just bitter because you got burned by some bitch in the past and your misogynist ideology is just your way of lashing out.” ı hear this a lot from both men and women. ıt’s an easy response to parrot and it’s very useful. ıt foists the responsibility of confronting one’s critical ideas back on the man (...) it sounds right, everyone uses it to the point of cliché, and it misdirects and discourages any further critical analysis.

    ... underneath that is the breaking of a pattern. you’re controllable and predictable so long as you’re pudgy and listless – what other woman would want you? but start changing your patterns, get into shape, make more money, get a promotion, improve and demonstrate your higher value in some appreciable way...

    the stereotype of the quirky, but lovable guy who bumbles his way into a woman’s heart may work for romantic comedies, but not in the real world.
  • erkeklere özel denebilir. baştan söyleyeyim. bu kırmızı hap mevzusuna mutedil yaklaşmak, abartmamak, çok başıboş girmemek lazım. konu kadın düşmanlığına kolayca evrilebilir durumda ve sahtebilim üzerinden yürüdüğü iddia edilebilir. eleştirenler hepten haksız da değiller. (bir örnek için bkz: https://fularsizentellik.com/…inlar-solipsist-midir) dolayısıyla anlatılanları bir tutam tuzla sindirmek akıllıca olabilir.

    hani hipergami nedir, alfa erkek, beta erkek, arzu seksi, pazarlık seksi nedir, evlenince seks hayatı pek çok insan için neden biter? biraz bu konulardaki temel terminolojiyi ve iddiaları öğrenmek lazım. güvenilir, efendi erkeksin, mülayimsin, çoluğun çocuğun olsun, evinin erkeği olmak planlarındasın, iyi para kazanma olasılığın yüksek ama yıllarca senin yüzüne bakmayan genç kadınlar neden üniversitenin bitmesine üç gün kala seni aramaya başladılar? senden önce nasıl adamlara meylediyorlardı, şimdi neden sen? abd’de dna analizi ile babalık davası sonuçlarının yüzde kaçında biyolojik baba, aslında koca değil?

    mavi hap zaten her gün toplumca anlatılıyor, ailede anlatılıyor, pırlanta yüzük reklamında diz çöken erkekçe anlatılıyor... ilişkilerin dinamiğine dair bir de bu cenahtaki lafları öğrenmek fena olmayabilir. toplumun anlattığını da bu kırmızı hap kafasındakilerin anlattıklarını da kendi bilgi birikimi ve akıl süzgecinden geçirip biraz kendi yolunu bulmak tavsiye edilebilir.

    şu belgesel fena değildir bak başlangıç için:
    (bkz: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j6s8px6bddu)
    aha şurada da belgeseli çeken eski feminist kadının başına gelenleri anlattığı tedx konuşması var:
    (bkz: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3wmuzhqxjoy)

    yalnız başta da dediğim gibi, abartıp saçma bir cinsiyetçiliğe evrilmesi çok kolay bir konu, çok kaptırmamak lazım.
  • bazı noktaların abartı ve gerçek dışı olduğu doğrudur ama genel olarak kadın erkek ilişkileri hakkında iyi bir fikir veren bir kitap. feminizmin ve 21.yy topluluğunun verdiği tozpembe at gözlüklerini çıkardığımızda aslında romantizmin ne kadar sahte olduğunu anlıyoruz.
  • türkçeye akılcı erkek olarak çevrilebilecek söz bütünüdür.
  • türkçesini bulan varsa yeşillendirebilir mi?
  • aslında özeti "true power isn’t about controlling others, but the degree to which you control the course of your own life and your own choices." cümlesi olan kitap*
    yani yazar diyor ki hayatınızın dümeninde siz olun, hayatınızla ilgili kararları kendiniz verin ve kendinizi elinizden geldiğince geliştirin ki siz bunları yaptığınız sürece başarı ve kadınlar da sizinle gelsin.

    tanım: kadın erkek ilişkileri ve evrimsel psikoloji üzerine güzel bir kitap.
  • ingilizce bilen her erkeğin okuması gereken kitap. hatta ingilizce bilmiyorsanız bile öğrenip bu kitabı okuyun.

    disney masalları ile büyümüş bünyelerde şok etkisi yapıyor haberiniz olsun.
  • erkekadam.org sitesinde kitabın yer yer bölümleri çevrilmiş ilgilisi bakabilir
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