odalisque

• derek webster'ın bi şiiri.
  
  odalisque
  
  now that lilacs are in bloom
  she has a bowl of lilacs in her room"
  florida. wallace stevens and pink
  ice-cream. my gay friend says, girl,
  have you ever screamed in anger?
  well-that's not me.
  i am "slender," sound as a flute:
  in the crisp air of winter, wear nude
  stockings and a lavender suit,
  to find out who needs me.
  
  in lightning, under sheets, i sweat
  a yellow angel of regret.
  behind me, grass and branches turn
  green: the world is fleet.
  
  they see themselves upside-down
  in me. all men are dogs, the married
  doubly so: they think another clown
  floats in my mouth, and has a bone
  to prove it. well, i won't get carried
  off; i've never minded that,
  to feel a mind work me like meal,
  be written on, oh, even to feel
  a sculpting pen adjust my hat:
  we live for such a moment.
  i've had lovers-who has not?
  virgins horde their fruits. they rot.
  
  i played gin rummy with sleeping pills,
  took social visits to a psychiatrist-
  was never asked to pay the bills;
  he made me triste-
  half-revealed, a crescent moon,
  i stayed up nights, unwhole and sharp-
  knowing that i move,
  not that i fall.
  
  on airplanes, highrises, trees,
  a peacock of shattered glass.
  i wonder, would i scream,
  to see myself at last?
  
  today i cut my leaves and stalk
  a lover, lilac bowl in bloom.
  my train is a promise deferred,
  my french a smile and single words.
  side to side we'll slowly rock.
  
  ayrıca bir suser.
• ilk intiba cok da onemli degildir.. eger oyle olsaydi benden hala nefret ediyor olurdu. beni sevmesi icin ona iltifat etmedim, sirinlik yapmadim,ama evet, beni sevmesini istedim.
  bunun icin bir kac guzel fotograf yetti. bana elini uzatti, tuttum, sonra uzun sohbetler ettik.
  
  oyle bir yerde duruyor ki, beni en fazla o anlamak zorunda. gorevi zor, belki sikiliyor, ama bunu belli etmeyecek kadar asil ve iyi yurekli. onu sevmem icin o kadar cok sebep var ki..
  
  o olmasa, belki belki herseyin tadina varmam cok daha zor olacak.. durdugu yerden hic ayrilmasa..
  
  (bkz: keske)
• türkçedeki "odalık" sözcüğünün fransızcaya yamultulmuş hali. (bkz: cariye)
• matisse bol bol odalik temali resim yapmistir. oryantalizme merak sarmis ressamlarin genel olarak sevdigi bir konudur.
• uzun zamandir ortalikta gozukmeyerek beni endiselere gark eden suser.
• dünyaya bir okyanus derinliğinden bakan balık...
  bakışında derinliğin anlam bulduğu güzel insan..
• (bkz: gorumce)
• murathan mungan'in gece nobeti isimli siirini entry girmek istedigimde kendisinin daha onceden yazdigini gordugum, tahminimce aci bagimlisi suser.
• eskiden arkadas im, artik gorumcem olan, arkadasligini gorumceligine yuzbin kez tercih edecegim, simdinin yakin akrabasi, eskinin uzak dostu..
• melek guzelligine sahip, herseyi ugruna birakip gidecek guzel bir sey buldu ise pesinden gidilesi insan.